ABC27 WHTM The Hometowns: Horses, Marching Bands, Cowboys, and Stalkers...Oh my!

It's Hometown Date Week!  Or "The Hometowns" as all the cool kids are calling it. 

Going into this week's episode, I knew Kacie B. was going to make it and all Eric Finkenbinder would say is that he thinks "the one with the dimples" (that's what he calls Lindzi) will bail on Ben.   This is where Fink (as all the cool kids call him) and I disagree.  I don't think any of these women will bail on Ben; they're all sooooo in love with him. 

The first Hometown was with Lindzi in Ocala, Florida.  She, of course, arrives on a horse and they take a carriage ride before settling down for a picnic and talking, where she opens up and shows Ben her vulnerable side.

Vulnerable is going to be the word of the day, boys and girls.

They then ride the carriage to her parents' house where we learn Lindzi's only siblings are a pair of terriers.  Let me just say that of the four families we met, Lindzi's parents were my favorite, even if they spelled her name wrong and it sends my spell check into fits of hysteria every time I type it.  They seemed genuine and funny and nice. 

Her parents were married in the San Francisco City Hall, the same place Ben and Lindzi went on their first date.  It's fate!  Ben and Lindzi are meant to be together, to live happily ever after, and have dozens of babies.  Or not.

After a carriage race, where her parents win, Ben, Lindzi and her parents have dinner where her father announces he would be honored to have Ben as a son-in-law.

At the end of the date, Ben tells us he sees himself falling in love with Lindzi.

The next Hometown Date is with Kacie B. in Clarksville, TN.

Ben arrives at a football field where he is greeted by a school marching band and Kacie twirling a baton.  With all the stories we've been doing on the news about schools in trouble and cutting budgets, I really hope ABC made a donation to this school's band for dragging them into this show.

She proceeds to tell him that the field was named after her grandfather and shared the story of her grandparents' and how she wants a love like they had.

Before going to meet her family, Kacie tells Ben her father is a federal parole officer and doesn't drink.  Just what a winemaker wants to hear.  How can he ask her father for his permission to maybe marry his daughter if the man isn't wasted?

We meet Kacie's parents and her sister, Allison.  While Kacie gushes to her sister about how "flippin' happy" she is, Ben sits down and talks to her father, Denny.

Ben is afraid her father doesn't like him.  Really, Ben, really?  Why wouldn't a father be happy that his daughter went on a reality show and slutted it up with a couple dozen other women to fight for a man with greasy hair?

He then moves on to Martha, Kacie's mother.  Seriously, was Martha ten when she had her daughter?  She looks fantastic for a woman with two grown daughters.

Martha tells Ben she has seen the show in the past and she knows it's common for the man and woman to live together and she makes it perfectly clear that she doesn't not want them living in sin.  You can tell this doesn't sit well with Ben.  Later, Denny tells Ben and Kacie that if she moves to California, he wants to make sure she has a place of her own. 

Ben doesn't think he'll get Kacie's parents' approval and Kacie's father tells her in private that if Ben asked his permission to marry her, he would say no.  Denny wants them to take it slow and get to know each other before they marry.

And this is when I knew it was the end for Kacie.  Her parents are being too logical and not falling for all the reality TV hoopla.  This doesn't bode well for this type of show.

Kacie ends the night feeling stressed, afraid things didn't go well.  We don't hear from Ben, another bad sign.

The next Hometown finds us in Ft. Worth, TX with Nicki.  They meet in the most touristy Old West place since the one in National Lampoon's Vacation.

They buy a pair of cowboy boots and a cowboy hat from Sam Elliot's older brother before moving on to a saloon…yup, a saloon, and getting what I can only assume are glasses of sarsaparilla.

They then go to Nicki's father's house where he, her mother, and her brother are all waiting for her.  Her mother likes Ben and can see a connection between him and her daughter.  Nicki admits to her mother she is falling in love with him.

Nicki sits down to talk to her father.  He feels as though he let her down by giving her hand in marriage to a man when the marriage didn't work out.  Nothing will make me tear up faster than watching a father cry, even if it's on the Bachelor.

When they sit down to eat dinner, Nicki's father raises his glass to toast and gives Ben and Nicki his blessing.  Nicki asks Ben if they can talk privately.  She takes him upstairs where she admits to falling in love with him and then they make out.

While her family is still sitting at the dinner table.

Classy.

As the date wraps up, Ben tells us he feels as though he's falling in love with Nicki and she can make him happy.

The next, and last, Hometown is in Scottsdale, AZ with Courtney.   I think this is the date we were all looking forward to.

While we see Courtney waiting for Ben, we hear in her voiceover that she is disappointed in the way she has behaved and the way she has treated the other girls.

I don't buy it.

I'm starting to thinks she wins and this is the producers' way of making her seem sympathetic so we don't all get angry when Ben chooses her.

For something a little different, Courtney takes Ben to meet her parents and sister before they go on a date.

While sitting around the table drinking win, Courtney admits she "likes/loves" Ben.  A statement that worries her mother.

Courtney's sister, Rachel, wants to talk alone with her sister, so they go to a bedroom to chat.  Rachel tells Courtney she is as happy as she's ever seen her.

How can she tell?

Courtney just comes across as a cold, emotionless robot, especially next to her bubbly, likeable sister.

While they're talking, Ben talks to Courtney's father, Rick.  Rick tells Ben that marriage is life's biggest gamble and is Ben ready for that.

Ben assures him he is.

Rick tells him that his home has always been him and his daughters, he's ready for a son-in-law and he wants grandchildren.

Rick is the total opposite of Courtney, he's friendly and likeable.  Rachel, obviously, takes after him.

Courtney, however, takes after her mother.  They have the same cold demeanor and baby voice.  They sounded like a couple of 3 year olds talking together and it was hard to take them seriously.

For their 1-on-1 time, Courtney took Ben to a farm where she had had one of her first photo shoots when she was 17.  They have weddings here and this is where Courtney always imagined herself getting married.

Oh look.

There is a wedding set up.

What happens next is right out of a soap opera.  You know which one I mean, that one storyline where the crazy stalker tricks the nice guy into marrying her because he played along to be nice.

She leads Ben to the seats set up for the ceremony and pulls out two notepads and pens so they can write their vows and then she pulls out a bow tie for him to wear.

After writing their vows, they walk up the aisle where a man, who may or may not have been a minister or other official, starts the pretend ceremony and asks them to read their vows to each other.

Ben essentially tells Courtney that she makes him happy.

Courtney goes on to tell Ben she's in love with him as she sways and simpers in her baby voice.

They exchange rings made of twigs while Courtney behaves like a 3 year old.

Ben returns to LA where he and Chris have a conversation about the women and how he feels about them now that he has met their families.

He loved Lindzi's interaction with her family and how she became vulnerable.  He likes knowing she was raised by two wonderful people and he can see himself falling in love with her.

He likes how important community and family are to Kacie and how she opened up and was vulnerable.  He doesn't like how her mother doesn't want them living together because he thinks he needs to live with his fiancée to get to know about her.  He feels as though he could be a part of her family, she is one of the most kind and gentle women he's ever met. 

He likes that with Nicki they can just pop into a couple of stores, have a couple of beers and call it a day. Every time he sees he feels comfortable and she puts a smile on his face.  He also liked how she opened up and was vulnerable.

Seeing Courtney away from all the drama, he saw the Courtney he knew.  She's an incredible woman and he feels as though he could've written a whole lot more about her in the vows.  Not to mention the fact that she opened up and was vulnerable.

Chris leaves Ben to gaze upon the photos of the remaining women.

There are four women and only three roses.

Rose 1 – Courtney (ugh)

Rose 2 – Lindzi (not really surprised)

Rose 3 – Nicki (what???)

Okay, I know the Hometown didn't go too well for Kacie, but I was genuinely surprised that she was sent home.  I believe it all came down to her parents not wanting them to live together.  I think their old fashioned values scared Ben.

Then came my favorite moment of the entire episode.  Lindzi and Nicki quickly turned to hug and comfort Kacie while Courtney took an unsure step toward them.  It was all so awkward and painfully funny that they cut away quickly so we couldn't see how much the women hate Courtney.

Ben walks Kacie out and they sit on a bench to talk. Kacie cries about how heartbroken she is and how she doesn't want him to be heartbroken.

AND BEN SAYS NOTHING!

He doesn't really offer any comfort, he offers her no closure.  He comes across as a total jerk.

This has to be one of the most heart breaking exits I've ever seen on The Bachelor as Kacie wonders why she isn't good enough and announces this is why she doesn't love.

"I loved him and I don't know what to do now!" 

Wow. Well, I would suggest you don't go on reality shows looking for husbands.

I usually have no trouble poking fun at the crying girls on The Bachelor, but she seemed so sweet and her exit was so sad, I can't bring myself to do it.

Next week, Ben is taking the three remaining women to Switzerland.  Nice.

*******

Post Show Observations:

1. Overall, this week's episode was pretty boring.  There was no drama, no fun siblings, no crazy grandmothers, no fun.
2. During the promo for next week's episode, we're led to believe a woman who is sorry for what she has said about the other women surprises Ben.  I wonder if Emily is coming back. 
3. We're also told that the Bachelorette, Emily Maynard, is going on her first date next week and we'll see it.  There was a blue sapphire necklace and the song "My Heart Will Go On" is playing.  Sooooo…a Titanic themed date?  Way to stay current, ABC
4. I really want Courtney kicked off for one reason only: so she will be called on stage for the Women Tell All episode and they all tear into her.
5. I have a terrible feeling Courtney is going to win it all.
6. Our Master Control operators told me tonight that they think the women who are exiting the show are actually maced in the face.  That's the only way a woman would cry so hard over a guy like Ben.  I'm starting to think they're right.
7. Fink still thinks Lindzi is going to bail on Ben.
8. I still think Fink is wrong.